


Hanging On

by Sleepflowerrr



Category: Manic Street Preachers
Genre: M/M, feederism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23792521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepflowerrr/pseuds/Sleepflowerrr
Summary: Basically the same plot as People Give In but with James
Relationships: James Dean Bradfield/Nicky Wire
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

The muffin... it looked so nice. He couldn't wait to eat it. But Nicky was staring at him again, making him feel uncomfortable.

"What do you want?" He asked quietly, not bothering to look up from the cake in his hands.

"Well, its just... you've been staring at that muffin for ten minutes now." Nicky replied slowly. "Are you ever gonna eat it, James?"

"I would if you'd stop staring at me like that," James answered.

"Like what?"

"That." James finally looked up at stared at Nicky. "Like you want to say something."

"I don't," Nicky said quickly. He did want to say something, as a matter of fact, but he couldn't, even if he wanted to. It would sound too weird.

"Alright then. Stop staring at me." James went back to looking downwards.

Nicky sighed and looked out the window next to him. It was still raining, just as it had an hour ago when they had all gone over to James's house. He turned back from the window and glanced at James again. Somehow, in the 10 seconds when he had looked away, James had eaten the entire muffin. And it want even that small.

"How did you--" Nicky started to say, but James cut him off.

"I said, stop staring at me."

"I'm not--"

"Yes, you are. You obviously are. Stop."

"God, James. Does it matter if I was staring at you or not?"

"Yes. You're making me feel weird."

"Why though?"

"Just shut up, ok?"

He had been like this since Richey went missing, Nicky thought. They had all been on edge since then but it seemed to have affected James more than him or Sean.

He walked out of the room, wanting to be alone so he could think in peace. But before he did that, he shoved another plate of muffins in front of James.

Nicky couldn't explain why, but he loved the idea of making James fat. He wanted to make him all soft and chubby. So he had secretly started feeding him biscuits and muffins and other sweet foods to him over the last month. And he had started to make a slight difference. James already seemed more softer, more round.

Nicky sat down at the kitchen table and looked around him. He wondered if he could make some more cakes here.

Meanwhile James was peacefully eating the plate of muffins Nicky had left for him. He didn't know why Nicky kept giving him cakes, but he wasn't going to argue. Although his clothes were feeling a bit tight lately. Maybe they just shrunk in the wash? It doesn't matter, he thought. Just as long as Nicky keeps giving him all these cakes and stuff, he was satisfied.

He finished the plate and lay back on the couch. He gently rubbed his full belly with his hand. He closed his eyes in pleasure, hoping Nicky didn't come back in and find him like this. He'd probably tell him off for eating so much or something.

Nicky, however, was busy mixing up some chocolate chip cookies. He had found a packet of chocolate chips in a cupboard, along with other ingredients.

He poured the mixture onto a tray and moulded it into individual pieces. Then he slid the tray into the oven. As he did so, he wondered if James had finished the cakes yet. Maybe he should go check on him while the cookies were baking?

He walked into the living room and found James lying on the sofa, eyes closed. The plate that had once held the muffins was now empty. 

Nicky glanced back at James again. He looked so peaceful... maybe he wouldn't notice if Nicky was to rub his belly a bit...?

No... he couldn't. Not now. What if he woke up? What if he wasn't even asleep in the first place? Nicky decided that he'd have to wait, as much as he despised that idea.

In the meantime, he would keep feeding him in secret. He walked back to the kitchen and opened the door of the oven. A sweet scent wafted out of it. The cookies were ready.

He placed them neatly on a new plate and carried them into the living room. He placed the plate on top of the last one and left the room. He would return when James had finished eating them. He didn't know why, but he sensed that James wanted to be left alone for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks past quickly. None of them noticed the time flying by.

As the days past, you could really start seeing a noticeable change in James. He appeared more happy, more positive.

But of course, he changed physically, too.

He appeared more soft, and round. It took all of Nicky's self control just to not spontaneously hug him tightly at every moment that he got.

Weirdly enough, James didn't seem to notice anything different. He never questioned the large amounts of cake Nicky continued to feed him every day. He had started to increase the amount of food he was making now, so he was almost constantly cooking. It left him with hardly any time to do anything else, but he didn't mind. He wanted James to be happy, and achieving that goal was his main task right now.

Who did mind, however, was Sean, of all people.

He felt that all this was conflicting with the task all of them should be focusing on the most: making a new album without Richey.

So one day, while they were all over at Nicky's house, and Nicky himself was in the kitchen checking on his latest batch of double chocolate chip cookies, Sean approached James, who was scoffing a packet of crisps.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Sean said sarcastically, staring pointedly at James's distended belly.

James began to say something, "well... Nicky is making cookies and..."

Sean cut him off. "That's not the point, James. You know exactly what I mean."

James stared blankly at him. "No... I don't."

Sean sighed. "I mean, you're getting too fa--"

"THE COOKIES ARE READY!" Nicky ran into the living room, holding a plate stacked high with sweet smelling cookies. He placed them on the coffee table in front of James, who immediately ditched the crisps and began eating the cookies instead.

Sean growled quietly, annoyed. "Nicky, can I talk to you for a moment, alone?"

"Um, ok."

They walked out into the hallway and Sean slammed the door behind him, so James couldn't listen to their conversation.

"Nicky, why are you suddenly obsessed with baking? And why is James eating literally everything that you make?"

Nicky was silent for a minute. What could he say to that that didn't sound weird? Nothing, was the answer, he concluded. He took a deep breath. "Sean, to tell you the truth, I... I just really like watching him eat and slowly getting bigger."

Sean stared at him. "You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope, I'm not."

"Oh god..." Sean took a step away from Nicky. "I... I really don't know what to think of this."

"I knew you'd be weird about it..."

"I'm not being weird about it. It's just... not what I was expecting you to say."

"What were you expecting me to say?"

Sean thought for a moment. "I don't know," he admitted. "But it definitely wasn't that."

They were silent for a while. In the distance, Nicky cod hear muffled crunching sounds from the living room.

"Well," Sean eventually spoke. "I, uh... you need to stop this, Nick. It's conflicting with everything. And it's not good for either of you."

Nicky nodded sadly. "Ok. Give me a week and I'll tell him." He glanced towards the door.

"Yes, you do that."

Nicky nodded again and opened the door. James had already ate half the plate of cookies. "Where'd you learn to make these?" Sean heard James say from the hallway.

He wondered if he was doing the right thing. He immediately pushed that doubt away. It was for their own good, he thought.

So why did he still feel like he had done something wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this!! Any feedback or suggestions in the comments would be greatly appreciated :3


	3. Chapter 3

Of course, Nicky had no intention of stopping. He, as well as James, were too into it by this point. They couldn't possibly just stop now, not within a week, as Nicky promised anyway.

So they kept going the same way they were before Sean tried to intervene. But for Nicky, it wasn't the same. He felt like he was always looking over his shoulder, always worried Sean might catch them doing one of their feeding sessions.

Gradually, those sessions began to come few and far between. Once or twice a day turned into once or twice a week. And with the spaces between these, came the emptiness that James had felt before all this had started. But this time he felt something else - insecure.

When he had Nicky continuously feeding him, he had gained quite a bit of weight. And naturally, he felt a bit shy about it. He had already received some pretty harsh comments from passers-by. They all hurt, every last one of them. But he tried to hold his head high and not show that they hurt him.

But Nicky could see that something was wrong. Every morning when they'd meet up at their recording studio he always seemed subdued and sad. Nicky hoped he would be ok soon, but after a month of it going on, he decided to confront him about it.

"James, you've... well, you've seemed kind of... sad recently. Everything ok?"

"No. Everything's not ok." James snapped, turning away from Nicky.

"Then what's wrong?" Nicky tried to place his hand on James's shoulder, but he slapped him away.

"Just... go away, Wire. I don't want you to see me like this."

"See you like what?" Nicky was about to ask, but James was gone before he had a chance to. He walked back to where Sean was, sitting on a stool near a window.

"What's up with him?" He gestured to where James had been standing a minute ago.

"I don't know. He seemed really upset, though."

"I presume you stopped that whole 'feeding' thing?"

"Uh, yeah. We have. We stopped it ages ago." It wasn't a complete lie. They had barely been doing it at all recently. It was just too risky, and Nicky didn't want to do it when James was like this.

"Good." Sean smiled to himself, clearly pleased. "It was a stupid idea from the start," he added, although he wondered whether he meant it or not.

The day went on as normal. Nicky and Sean eventually coaxed James back to the main room where they rehearsed a few songs. After that, they simply chatted for a bit. During all this, James seemed fine, happy, even. Right until it was the end of the day.

"I can't face them all," he kept whispering.

"Face who?" Nicky asked him, glancing out the window. It was already quite dark, and he had been hoping to get home by night time, but he couldn't really leave James here. He seemed scared of something, but Nicky couldn't figure out what.

"All those people..." James said quietly. "Staring at me, judging me..."

"You can play in front of a crowd of thousands, mate, and yet you can't face a few random people outside," Sean scoffed.

"Yes, but it's not just me when we're playing. You two are there too."

"You're the singer. And lead guitarist. People take more notice of you than me." Sean sighed, rolling his eyes at Nicky.

"What are you so afraid of, James?" Nicky asked, ignoring Sean.

James stared back at him with wide, frightened eyes. "People are gonna judge me. Say mean things," he whispered.

"Why would they do that?"

"Because... because I'm fat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I really tried hard on this chapter to make up for it and I hope you all like it ^^
> 
> Leave feedback or suggestions in the comments as it would be greatly appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this. I hope you liked it!!
> 
> I'll try and update this and People Give In as often as I can but... yeah. Writers block exists soooo i can't really promise anything right now :))


End file.
